do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
You were in the corner dancing by yourself yelling "I look good", when really you looked ridiculous and drunk
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I found a hair colour I want in a porn.
Money making scheme, blow job proof mascara. Waterproof is bullshit
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize