Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
Why is "Oprah of drinks" written on my arms?
You said to write it on you, after you kept saying, "You get a drink, you get a drink, everyone gets a drink."
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Randomize
