mom just said that her bf is good in bed. fml.
i am watching a movie about a vagina with teeth and then you sent that to me while im eating sushi.
i half slept with him but i still dont owe you any money
all we need is a shotglass and a helicopter.
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I just want to make out with him forever
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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