well that one time I was being a total idiot trying to see how much I could drink. turns out 22 shots is too much. surprise surprise! ambulance party!
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Secondly, that waffle is lost for good. I have no fucking idea where that bitch is
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
Man...I want to get monumentally fucked tonight.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
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