Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Last night I dipped into my beer fund to pay for groceries. SINCE WHEN ARE MY PRIORITIES SO WHACK???
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
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