Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
She told me to stuff her like a turkey. She actually yelled happy thanksgiving.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Randomize
