Im in Brooklyn, he wasnt 23 or a musician pick me up
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
I told him I want him to read me my Miranda rights while he's fucking me. Act exactly like he does while he's on duty except with his dick out.
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