Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
You admitted to me in secrecy that you want to jerk off a unicorn.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
you shoved the noah's ark of animal crakers in your mouth saturday.
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
First thing that comes on in the morning is kanye's I can't hold my liquor. yeezus lives.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize