I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
i've come to the conclusion that there is no classy way to apply chloroseptic spray to your butthole.
Just bored and untired. I want to be in Austin. At college. Drinking someone elses alcohol. Am I asking too much of life?
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
So how was awkward coffee with forgets-your-name?
Man the liquor store just wrong numbered me, its a sign even god wants me to drink
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
4 out of 7 roommates in one month isn't that bad if you think about the fact that 3 of them were in the last 24 hours
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
