Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
Is it wrong that I get drunk and let him eat me out then fall asleep? He offers me so much and yet I do nothing. I feel like a republican.
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
We were sad, then we got horny, and then we needed some ranch
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
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