i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
The words "my birth control fell out" should never be spoken
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
i just thought a plastic bag was my cat. i just pet a plastic bag. that high.
How much of a thot would I be if I put this pic up? On a scale of thot-ish to Queen of Thotlandia
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
