just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
It was so weird. She left to go to the bathroom and her older sister leaned towards me with a creepy smile and said, "You don't deserve her" and then continued to stare at me with a crazy expression for the rest of the evening.
That's kinky shit dude.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
That's the 3rd negative pregnancy test this month. I'm on a roll.
Randomize
