Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
STOP TRYING TO FUCK MY DAD
THE HOT GUY IS YOUR DAD?!?!?!?!???
My neighbor is burning all of her ex's things in a metal drum outside the window. Guess who's going to make a new friend?
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
