We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
Not only did I hold your hair back as you puked, i french braided it. I am such a great friend.
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Finished the final in under ten minutes and then puked in the bushes outside. I don't even care if I graduate anymore.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I'm going to keep a tally of how many lives I ruin this summer. Starting today.
Already at 3 and it's not even noon.
You mAke me stone. Stone fuck fucking stoned. I'm an stoned you cuz now fucking stoned stoned fucking stoned I stone.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
You slept on a pillow of digiorno
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Dude, they hit that lizard part of my brain that tells me to fuck people.
Preach sister.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Randomize
