Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
are you drunk enough to hook up with me yet?
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
