so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
You could become Eskimo brothers with my dad. How can you pass that up? You pussy.
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
