Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
The woman in front of me has a completely clear purse. I can see everything. It's ballsy because her vagisil is on display.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
...She then said get into the spirit and started making firecracker noises while having sex
By the way, turns out "Danny B" is his penis. Not his cousin. I was right.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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