make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
My cat clawed my face because i tried to give it a foot massage...never doing shrooms again.
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
Don't blame me. My vagina leads me astray.
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I get dinner and bf perks from the one guy. But dick with no commitment from the other. I’m living my best life.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
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