That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
casually drinking alone with your cats. do they like sparks?
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Just got a blowjob on the pier where my great-grandfather entered America.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
THE PRUIS IN YOUR DRIVEWAY IS NOT YOURS
excuse me?
I accidentally borrowed your spare keys a while ago...i just tried them...that, my friend, is not your car.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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