i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
I had to warn the neighbors
Warn them about what?! It's noon
"Pay no attention to me if at random points of the day I'm outside with kitty cat ears on" I'm a mess...
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
Randomize
