i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
When we woke up, I asked if we could play "what does your name rhyme with".....he said 'bave' thank god it was easy
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I just invented spray cheese vodka. tastes real nasty but does the trick.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I woke up naked buried in snacks. Best night ever.
Randomize
