dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Last night dinner was cinnamon buns and whiskey. At least tonight I had a fajita with my cookies and tequila. I may be a little stressed about these end of semester tests.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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