all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Just saw pictures of a pregnant teen from my hometown with an American flag wrapped around her naked body posted on FB without irony. These are my roots.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
If you're funny as hell and have a mustache, odds are I'm probably gonna fuck you
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
Can you please venmo me emergency money? i have no pants.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
