these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
You kept making that girl eat peanuts, saying they were good for her baby..... I don't think she pregnant
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
Did you feel uncomfortable?
For a little while. Then I got really high and ate a bunch of animal crackers out of some dudes pocket while we chilled on their super comfortable couch.
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Randomize
