I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
Psycho is an understatement. U were running around the house screaming IM UNDER THE IMPERIOUS CURSE
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I just had sex a few hours ago now i'm eating frozen yogurt making sex plans for tonight while catching Pokémon. What a time to be alive.
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
