if you find a joe biden blowup doll in the attic, I call dibs
i convinced her that her period would come back if we did it doggy style
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
How's dating the med student working out for you?
After we had sex last night he showed me where my spleen was.
A true anatomy project.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
