Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
