the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Eventually evolution will just give us a better liver anyway, so our great great grandkids should THANK us for our binge drinking.
This gyro tastes like lonliness
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
I mean my dick does have feeling again, which is a step in the right direction
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
Randomize
