WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I just used a gift card from my in-laws to buy their daughter a vibrator. What even are morals?
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Randomize
