Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
She swallowed my jizz and then took a shot of jack daniels and said "chaser." This cant be real life.
Whatever. We're stealing a penguin. Your not allowed near him... You did this to yourself.
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
Mostly because I hate my job and a have a photogenic penis.
You're right, I'd say my real all time low was when I let that fifteen-year-old feel my boob.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
So when did "Are you okay?" translate into "Don't tell me you got fucked by another rando after another rager"?
God I need to hump something, right now.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
Randomize
