do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
There is no way he is gay with that hair.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
I get stoned and write a 15 page history report in two hours. She gets stoned and cries because she "doesn't know which shade of pink is the real one".
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
