sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
Stop leaving me alone with my ex boyfriends after keg challenges. Woke up in his bed covered in what you think would be cum. No...toothpaste. He left a note. "Be home at four. Don't be here when I get back."
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
Send me one of your boob pics as an example. I mean this in the straightest least lesbian way possible.
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Randomize
