Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
If she catches me sniffing the seat of her office chair again, she's either going to fire me or fuck me
i just overheard my mom tell my dad he should drink less so he could hit the right hole
The Lord gave Farrah Fawcett 1 wish when she died. She wished that all children in the world would be safe! The Lord granted her wish and killed Michael Jackson.
Sorry about your blender, your tiolet, your weed, and your dog...
I'm eager to hear this explaination.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
