Can i not drive my cunt home
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
She actually pushed her roomie out of the way and said 'You already fucked him it's my turn!'
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I yelled out "blow jobs!" in my macroeconomics class. Ask me more about how my life is spiraling out of control.
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I texted him back and I am so nervous I may vomit up all of the soup I just ate.
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
His nipple licking is glorious
Randomize