My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
you kind of just crawled on top of him. that was the point at which i became concerned with how drunk you were.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Dude, seriously, fucking stop introducing me as "Thomas, with the dick piercing." you are the worst wingman ever.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
