just saw a girl throwing up in a taco bell nacho cantainor going 60 down the highway
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
Randomize