i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Bud light lime after 12 shots of vladdy is like frolickin in a meadow of sweet flavor
I made my own utility belt like Batman. It has a cup holder for my beer, cell phone holder, a little pocket for condoms, and a sewing kit just in case.
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I ripped my favorite jeans crossing that fence
That sucks
It's an upgrade! I didn;t even have to unzip my pants to pee!
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
I have alcoholic tendencies but you know what? College
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
I preemptively put on a cape before eating a bunch of weed brownies. Best decision ever.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
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