dude, despite what happened last night, I'm not gay
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Hey, don't think you remember me but we met last night. I'm conducting a survey this morning its only one question: Have you seen Rob since 1am?
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
nothing says "fuck you jocks from high school my life is better than yours" like bringing 5 grand in 20s to the bar
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Seeing her tonight. She doesn't want dinner, just wants me to come over for awhile. My penis just sent me a thank you card.
My vagina knows your penis is sad about Andrew Luck. You should come over and let her comfort him in his time of need
this kid sitting diagonally in front of me is searching "cheap bongs" on google. hahahhaaha. who does this kid think he is?
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