your room smells of hookers.
And success
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
i recognized the place by the puke stain i left on the pool table when i hooked up with his roommate.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
I'm drinking coffee out of a pasta sauce jar and eating fruit soaked in Smirnoff. I think I've hit rock bottom.
In case you were wondering I realized something last night, Rick James was correct. Cocaine is a hell of a drug.
I am 11 times too hungover to give the eulogy
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