do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
We couldn't find any ping pong balls, so we used a fishing bobber. Could we be more country?
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
He was so drunk and proud of his 6-month-gym-results he actually made me touch his whole naked body.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Apparently I told the mayor I want to be a trophy wife
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