Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
I forgot i ate a salad for dinner, so while i was barfing in his toilet, i kept screaming "i ate leaves?? i cant believe you let me eat leaves!"
Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
Puked on a Tom Jones impersonator on the strip
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
we spent fifteen minutes trying to convince you that you weren't locked inside of your car
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
