Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
I need a kidney, not a pussy. All the pussy in the world isn't going to save my life. Keep your pussy in your pants and give me a kidney.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
The sex was so boring I heard the people having sex next door and I wanted to stop just to listen
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
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