Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
You need to tell him your pregnant or we need to stop playing doubles beer-pong. My liver is begging you.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
See what happens when I don't get laid? I make poor life decisions, like buying baby ducks.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
I've seen too many dicks in the past week. I can't do it anymore.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
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