about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
i feel as uncomfortable as your camel toe looks.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
Is it bad i hate my job so much I'm actively trying to get fired tonight by drinking all the booze we have so I don't have to show up for my double tomorrow. Four mango vodkas later I have decided I'm a better server drunk.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Ok next time we are filming it. You bring the camera and I'll buy more socks
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
