I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
Just bc you put "its cute" at the end of it doesn't change the fact that u have called me a vag twice this morning and its only 10:03
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
You tried paying your tab with the coaster
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
