I mean a good dj is a huge turn on
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
she shotgunned a can of v8, threw the can on the ground and said, "fuck bitches get money" then passed out on the spot
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
Some guy is in my phone as Pat McAwesome.
Awww I'm so proud! Starting friendships before you hook up!
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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