I just tipped a bartender in xanax.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
