Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
I actually want to hang out with her with our clothes on. That's a big step up for me.
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
So help my penis see only you. Give him some attention as well.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Now swiping left on 23-year-olds with abs. Is this adulting?
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
Randomize
