Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Eating pizza and drinking wine while I watch the Victoria's Secret Fashion Show. The wine is for reducing the pain of falling asleep with more insecurities than what I woke up with.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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