so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Working from home has been great for my sex life! A few of my neighbors are in open marriages and several more wish they were!!!
If work found out I was using THEIR paper to write Karate Kid fanfic I'd never hear the end of it.
Randomize
