eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
I don't give a shit about soccer but I'm really excited about drinking at 7 in the morning
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
By the way, playing "guess who I had sex with last night" was a great way to start a Thursday, or any day
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Hot fire fighters installing my closet. Don't know how to go about this. Gonna nonchalantly take my shirt off and see what happens..
Randomize
