so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I'm going to fuck my way out of the friend zone if its the last thing I do
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I woke up handcuffed to a bed wearing nothing but an army belt. Does this count as thanking our country?
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