Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
Dude apparently i ran into the middle of a half marathon last night and some how won
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I have never appreciated strippers so much. Ma'am, you are an artist
thankfully we both ride of shamed home together on razor scooters in dresses because we stopped for breakfast sandwiches too
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Randomize
