How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
I can't believe you blew on her face.
I feel that every long term relationship needs at least one big,load delivered straight between the eyes.
After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I'd return your shirt, but it got all wet from lying on the bathroom floor while I was in the shower with Justin's roommate...
Keep it.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize
