DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
FYI the landlord called and plumbers will be tearing up the bathroom tomorrow. Apparently the tub is leaking into the apt below us so be sure to pee in the shower today.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I was carrying around a bottle of Jameson yelling rescue me
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
you blew the guy with all the harry potter paraphanelia didn't you
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