How come twittering sounds sexual?
Because of Bambi.
Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I just told my parents that Capt'n Crunch does weird things to my mouth... my dad just stared at me
my last 3 google searches were anal itchy vagina and ice cubes
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
Randomize
