Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
Yea. It was an issue. Great time though. Apparently I went through the coat check, put my coat on and forgot I had it so I tried to go through again and just didn't understand why thy weren't helping me. Dave coat checked his pants.
tell her i changed her phone's unlock password to be the length of my fully erect penis in centimeters. I'll be in my room for the next two hours.
Randomize