I think I died a long time ago.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
it's like iHOP with fire
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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