Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Dude! wtf happend last nite? I woke up with 2 black eyes and a head ache
You stepped off the curb and face planted the road...twice
Why didnt you hold me up....and why a second time?
I helped you up but figured it was wayy funnier to watch you fall again then lose my buzz....
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
Just because we buy weed together doesn't mean were a couple
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Got head at the top of a water slide over-looking the valley while wearing a sombrero and drinking a corona. Epic.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
