I cant go down on him yet. All ive had to eat is olives and percocet. semen would only add to tomorow mornings discomfort.
i'm going to be one of those im-wearing-a-shirt-as-a-dress girls today. dont make fun of me, i need laid
he took off his pants and apologized in advance if I thought he was too small.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
The chick who threw the party was all pissed cause she thought I made out with her boyfriend. Admittedly, I did, but she was throwing up and crying at the time so she really can't be that mad.
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
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