I'd give my left nut to see you
don't do that. I like the set
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
He texted me saying that his mom found my nuva ring in their jacuzzi filter. I don't think I'm welcome back anytime soon.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
People are stripping in McDonalds. Do I join?
YES.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Panties = found
Dude, I just masturbated with my cat sleeping on my boobs....
You have GOT to get this crazy cat lady thing under control. I'm finding you a man. And you'll take him, and thank me. After that text, you have no right to be picky.
Randomize
