I wish I only lived at night.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
She is the epitome of a puke & rally. She picked a random hott guy at the bar & made him pinky promise not to leave while she took a power nap. She went & passed out in her friends car & apparently puked just outside the bar. She stumbled in & found the randome guy again & claimed she was golden. Made it to the after party & stayed up til 6 doing body shots off every girl she saw & hooked up with the random from the bar. I love her life
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
